Ok, firstly this is meant as a light hearted thing, I don’t carry malice or anger towards those that choose to take these pills each day. Truthfully I feel a little sad that they have such low self worth they feel the need to inflict themselves on others but that’s their choice but it does give me loads of material!
So, the dating cycle begins again!!! Strap yourselves in cause the rollercoaster has upped it’s game from last year – it’s like a mini soap opera from the comfort of my own sofa without even needing to find the remote – that’s usually because the cat has changed channels, and why is it always just as the murderer is about to be revealed?? Stupid cat!
I really feel like we need that countdown that they used to do on Top of The Pops where singles moved up and down in their place as some of the obvious examples of w&*k$%y move – it might be interesting to follow it but then that requires me to be bothered and I’m not really. It’s intriguing but doesn’t keep me occupied for long enough to require a plan to be formulated.
Ok, the old favourites are still there!! Yes, the fish carrying dater – the only actual advantage I can see to this is you would recognise them if you were to meet them, however, would they actually turn up in waders?? Hmm, that in itself worries me that they might consider it appropriate – NEXT!
The topless torso model – just NOOOOO!!! It’s meant to be your profile pic, you’re not auditioning for Love Island, or maybe you are??? Who knows, but either way you didn’t get a reply from me – however I’m sure the producers would be delighted at your posing so perhaps this is where they should be looking for their next candidates? Next!
The one with lists – these are brilliant!!! I do not want to date: anyone with anger issues (err the fact you’ve flagged it means you probably have some); do not message me if you can’t spell – these are ace cause you then go and find their spelling mistakes (there’s always at least two!). Actually, I need to revisit the lists and do a separate piece on these are they are incredibly funny for all the wrong reasons!
Ahh the car shots – these always amuse me because it clearly says in your profile you drive so I am expecting a car, but really that’s the thing that says the most about you??
Profiles that say ‘I’ll complete this later’ I don’t really get that, do you have that little to say that we are required to guess …. or maybe you’re a lion tamer and don’t want to put us off?? Who knows, but all I know is I’m already bored so Next!
I also always find the choice of what they say they want interesting, some are very optimistic and go straight for the ‘I’m looking to find someone to marry’ err ok good luck with that as that sort of smacks of inability to function on your own so I’m already a little hesitant. And then you have the opposite of ‘wants to date but nothing serious’ I’m never quite sure how to take that, does that mean they want to see how it goes or that they’re just out for a bit of fun? Personally, I think there should be a ‘Wants to date and see how it goes’ option as realistically that’s what will happen and certainly how I view it.
Selfies – I find these interesting because of what they don’t say sometimes rather than what the intention was. And guys seriously, when taking a selfie in the mirror please please check the background! I have nooooo interest in seeing your laundry basket, however, those that reveal women’s clothing does allow me an early pass as you’re clearly not as single as you made out are you?? Either that or they are your dresses, I’m not judging at all but would suggest you tidy up a little before taking that selfie!
So the reason for the title, having read many profiles now it is clear there is a whole array of oddities out there, and it is our job over wine, popcorn and a shared WhattsApp group to regale girlfriends of our delightful finds! Off to check my messages,