Ok, so we’ve messaged for a bit and must admit yes you’ve made me giggle. You don’t appear to have offloaded any weird fetishes as oddly those with weird fetishes are VERY open about them and love to share right from the outset. Many a half drunk glass of wine has been spat over the sofa reading them, but hey at least they allowed me to weed them out of the running quickly as it were. And I’m not impressed at the wine wastage either so that’s a double no no. Offering to spank me rates pretty low too.
So, back to the messaging. Guys, seriously I am not remotely interested in how long you spent fishing in the cold and dark, am not bothered what your Mother’s favourite food is, I certainly don’t want to know about your ex – unless of course you tried to do something bad and then I do want to know so I can avoid you immediately. Dick pics are never acceptable, did get sent a very pretty one and it worried me how much time he’d spent on the lighting and whether it was actually a professional photoshoot which begged far too many questions that I really really didn’t want to be answered. Telling me about your car holds no interest whatsoever, and after five messages that all start with ‘did I tell you I did this to the car?’ I am truly bored and now adding snapchat filters to cat pictures, the cat isn’t impressed by the way but I feed her so she tolerates the intrusion.
Sharing holiday stories is fine, telling me you’ve been to the same hotel complex for 18 years running not so much – especially if it’s where you used to go with your ex and I suspect you may still bump into her so it begs too many questions that I really can’t be bothered asking – the cat is now really fed up with me!
I have been on several first dates now, and to be fair some have been perfectly lovely respectable men exactly as their picture and exactly as they sounded in messaging just, unfortunately, we didn’t click with each other. That’s life, you don’t need to be mean about it and I have shared a few messages with them again as there is no need to be horrible. It’s no one’s fault if you don’t have a connection, it’s just one of those things.
Also, please don’t take the hump if I have to rearrange a date – sometimes things crop up that you have to attend to so sending me 5 messages saying ‘I can’t believe how hot and cold you are’ really doesn’t sit well, we’ve not met, it’s just a coffee, I had every intention of keeping the date just couldn’t and I gave you 24 hours notice asking to rearrange. Get over yourself and please refrain from the cliched ‘you’ve lost a good man now’ hmmm somehow I suspect I haven’t and your needy dependancy has not gone unnoticed so don’t think I’m too fussed to try again now.
Guys, you will not be picking me up from home for a first date!!! If my refusal makes you disappear then suspect my instincts were correct and I avoided being on the news with the neighbours being interviewed telling them ‘she was very quiet and spent most of her time uploading pictures of her cat to twitter’. It has to be a public place because for all I know the picture you put up is actually your brother or cousin and we’re back to the ‘err you’re not as tall as you said are you??’. One guy was superb with the angles of shots. I was expecting a tall, almost athletic man and in walks a short dumpy guy with no hair and appalling golf shorts. I don’t mind the short or dumpy bit but wasn’t expecting it is all. However, the shorts were not a good look for him especially as he wasn’t that tall and looked like the little kid in school shorts that’s told ‘you’ll grow into them’.
So, all in all it’s not gone that well however I am optimistic and am now at the stage where first messages are along the lines of ‘how long you been on this site and how many weirdos have you met?’ from both sides! The sharing of stories is quite amusing!
Off to check my messages, Quirky x